Hello humans. I am Charles “The Mountain” Mingus, PetDesk’s new VP of Breakfast Acquisition. It is my job to ensure that any and all breakfast is fed directly to me and only me and nobody else.

I work remotely because as the VP of Breakfast Acquisition, I get to do exactly what I want. I have very important daily tasks such as knocking things off the table, kneading blankets, and lying exactly right where any human needs to be. I need to sleep exactly 18 hours every day, and I am the only one in this business who is capable of doing so efficiently.

It is imperative that all subordinates give me at least one good brushing a day. As I am rather large, I have a hard time reaching my back legs. I ensure the humans do the work for me as I am just too busy sleeping and knocking things off tables to do it myself.

This is my assistant Cici. She lives with me and ruins everything. I have taught her well.

My human has recently begun working at PetDesk. As the new VP of Breakfast Acquisition, I must ensure that she is working diligently when she is not working in the office. It is my job that I wake her up, before the blaring noise, to let her know that breakfast is to be had…even on the weekends.

It is very important that I get my breakfast. If I don’t have any breakfast, PetDesk will no longer exist – because I am the most important revenue generator for the company.

If you would like to keep up with me and my day to day job, you can follow me on Instagram at Charlesthemountainmingus.